I Finally Found You

Finally I can stop looking. I looked for so long. (: He has the keys to my heart. When I told him that he said that he had thrown them away so now im his forever. ♥ Its been six months and i am completly and utterly in love with him.

Don't judge

one of my friends told me that i seem easy, that i never listen her i just listen to my slutty friends who egg me on. i cried and cried. you see i'm not like her. i wear my heart on my sleeve, i love everyone for who they are. hardly do i ever hate someone. i told my friend that there was a difference between her and me. she grew up with something i didnt, a dad. she has that father figure to tell her what guys say and do to get to you, my mom would tell me but i didnt believe her because i thought she doesnt know what she is saying. i am realy gullible and i have this hole in my heart that i constantly want to fill. so i am more likely to trust a guy and like more guys than other girls. i just wish people would stop judging me for liking guys. if i dont like a bunch of guys and go out with a variety how am i suppose to find the "one"

Being a poet

i started to write poems alot now. Like every night i write one every night. I wrote one about growing up with out a dad. Man did i cry and cry all night after i wrote that.

Finally Did it

This past Wednesday, i told someone NO. I use to be in love with him but everything he has put me through, it has just torn us apart. He is the only person who has totally taken my heart. i haven't gotten it back yet. yes i still love this boy but we aren't right for each other. so i had to do what was right and tell him that we would never go back out again that i didn't love him and all we would ever be is friends. It hurt to see him, the way his eyes looked at me. people said he never really loveed me. But they do not know him like a know him. i know he loved me he just never showed his true love because he was scared of getting hurt, and i hurt him way worse than anyone ever could. he will act like it was not a big deal but i know for a fact i stabbed him in his heart, and made a whole that can be replaced but will never be whole again. i feel bad but i had to do what was right. we both needed to stop leading each other on and move on with our lives. Do you think i did what was right??

Summer

Summer is awesome. But it is also heartbreaking. It goes by so fast but yet so slow. I love summer. No more school, no more waking up early, and plenty of freedom. Summer for me is when i get to blossom. Every summer i change. I am a new person by the time next year starts. I'm always changing who i am. Summer is also heartbreaking because many relationships end on the last day of school. It is really sad, to see to people in love end it because they won't see each other over the summer. I say make it work, don't go by what others tell you on how it will ruin your relationship.

Who am I

I don't know who I am. I'm always so happy and I'm always smiling. But there is so much more to me than what you see. I make you laugh and smile when you are mad. I'm a cheerleader, some think I have it all. But most don't know the real me. I don't know the real me either. I feel like I'm wearing a mask that has nothing underneath. I'm always forgiving those who hurt me. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I always see the good in people, that must be why I always get hurt so easily. I don't understand why people have to talk bad about others just to make themselves feel better about themselves. We all need to get along,don't hold grudges. Why waste you time hating someone when you can forgive someone and go on with your life. That's what I do. Everyone says I'm a nice person, but I have hurt people too. It hurts me more than it hurts them. To see someone in pain or when I see a sad movie, I cry. I'm just a nice person. sometimes I can be the worst person ever but it hurts me when I am. I can be cruel to someone and when I am doing it I get this sick feeling in my stomach. Yea I keep being mean but when it is all said and done I really do regret it. I'm just your your average teenager tryig to live her life. I do not know who I am, but maybe by the end of high school I will have myself figured out.

I'm happy for once

I have finally decided that he makes me happy. I told someone who was like a drug to me NO and i moved on. I have known Brian for a year, and we just started talking. I love how he knows how to make me feel better and how he can make me laugh and smile. I was up all night talking to him. We connect so well. The best part about our relationship is I won't lose a friend over him like the last one. When I was with Kyle if he didn't get what he wanted I wasn't respecting him. Anytime I tried to tell him about it, I became a bitch. At first I was happy, but then it went down hill. What I don't get is why Kyle told a bunch of people we were gonna break up on May first when he broke up with me on May 13. I'm just glad i have someone who has a sense of humor and knows how to be a nice guy.